Sunday, November 27, 2011

Envy, Immaturity, and Illogicality

I envy my DD sisters a bit. Their punishments happen quite quickly. Me? I have weeks to wait if I get in trouble. Which happens fairly regularly, so by the time I get to see him I will have days of things accumulated. At least he goes easy on me. Typically he'll do one lump punishment, as opposed to each individual one.

The next time I get to see him will (hopefully ish) be December 2nd. I have a punishment waiting on me. 5 hard swats. I stormed out, not on him. Apparently it's disrespectful to him if I get in a disagreement with my family and storm out. Who knew? Certainly not me! Anyway, I stormed out and was gone for about two hours.

I know it's a tad immature to storm out and leave for two hours after getting in a fight with my mother, but there's no privacy here. There are anywhere from six to ten people living here at one time. Yeah... No privacy at all. So, fuming, I left, took a car and drove around for two hours. But never told the Boss Man I was leaving, and I didn't have a phone with me.

I've been trying to come up with a valid reason for cancelling our evening together. Somehow, I don't think me telling him it's because I don't want to be spanked is valid in his eyes, and will probably get me in trouble. I doubt me trying to avoid the heart to heart he's been wanting to have is a valid reason either. The heart to heart? I alluded to something in this post, but never came out and said it. I probably won't. Ever. I will say it was a life altering experience and leave it at that. The Boss Man wants to talk to me, in detail, about everything.

I don't know if I'm ready to talk about it. He insist that talking will help. I just don't know if I'm capable of talking about it. I've put it off, danced around the issue, and he's let me. I don't know how much longer he'll let me though. Logically, I know talking about it will help, but I'm not very logical.

We've talked about everything, to an extent. Boss Man dealt with his end of everything, but mine is much more emotional, and I push it down and away so I don't have to deal with it. I'm going to have to soon though; it's starting to effect everyday life.

So? No good reason to postpone my evening with the Boss Man? Huh? Anyone? Darn, I didn't think so!

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